Wake up 5am. Cold plunge. Drive to the gym for a heavy ass workout. Get back in time to wake kids up ready for the day… Or not.
I would love to say thats how I start each day… Truth is, I’ve been in hibernation mode since November, lazing around polishing off packs of biscuits telling myself that I’m just doing some kind of “Winter Bulk”. Now, my once strong unit of a body is looking more podgy, the six pack is now a single barrel, my clothes are tight in all the wrong places, and my god my arse has never been bigger. In short, i’ve got a fucking dad bod.
Whats the fix? Easy, get off your fat ass and do some exercise. EAT LESS, DO MORE.
Unfortunately, that ethos doesn’t work with depression. Some people think depression means you just feel a bit low, in my case it’s just as physical as is it mental. On my bad days I feel heavy, slow and weak. On the good days, light, quick and strong. Add in running off less than 5 hours sleep each night, caring for two demanding children aged 5 & 2, an equally demanding full time job, then top it off by trying to balance a relationship. Time and energy then, can be an issue.
Mindset – How to fix this mindset? Care for yourself! understand the limitations and set realistic goals. Instead of setting a goal to go to the gym 7 days a week, make it 4. Instead of cutting out all junk food, give yourself a day off once a week and have that beer/ pizza. Think of the people you hold around you and make time for those who make the time for you, go for the occasional pint with those friends. They’ll need it just as much as you!
Protector – Dads protect. It’s wired into us. Protect your family. This can be exhausting, every outing you’re fully alert to all soundings, sounds and people. This is a subconscious action which never goes away.
Provider – Dads want to provide. Again, this is wired into us from Caveman times! We want to bring home the bacon/vegan alternative… However in todays time, it’s most cases the partners being equal providers (in a financial standpoint at least). I wonder what kind of physiological effect this has had to common “man”? Many men feel they lack direction in life, has the lack of “need” for the man to provide taken away our main purpose…
Life of a dad can be hard at times, but it’s the best thing I have done in my life. I feel unbelievably lucky and I’d never change a thing. It’s a journey, i’ve learned a huge amount and I learn something new every day. It’s the best, most scariest thing you could do.
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